Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Who is the opposite of Peter Jackson?

Uwe Boll!

I had the unfortunate opportunity to watch 'In the Name of the King, a Dungeon Siege Tale.' At one point, I had to check the dvd description to see if it wasn't made for tv or something.

And I even played Dungeon Siege when it launched. I was very pleased with the game. Had it been an MMO, it could have been WoW.

Okay, so the movie had Jason Statham (Transporter,Crank) and John Rhys-Davies (Gimli) so it actually had a chance. Had I known Ray Liotta was the villain I would have veto'd the movie right away.

The movie was every kind of bad that's possible. I definitely ranked it in the Blood Rayne category (my worst movie of all time pick).

The Krugs looked like bad halloween costumes. I'd say LARP youtube videos were better. NO exaggeration.

Then I found out it was the same director as Blood Rayne and man it just clicked. That dude should be banned from film making by law.

So I was very happy to come across this article. WoW Movie bans Uwe Boll!!! YES!

http://www.1up.com/do/newsStory?cId=3167510

"I got in contact with Paul Sams of Blizzard," said Boll. "And he said, 'We will not sell the movie rights, not to you... especially not to you because it's such a big online game success, maybe a bad movie would destroy that ongoing income, what the company has with it.'"

"You go for it to please the game fans, but on the other hand if you have the hardcore gamers, they live in their own world. And you cannot fulfill their ideas from a video game based movie, it's impossible," said Boll. "To be honest, the real gamers are the typical download guys, right? They don't pay anything for movies, because they illegally download the movies. So why I should please these guys? I need the normal audience."

YOU BLOW BALLS BOLL! I should sue you for 4 hours of my life back!

5 comments:

Unknown said...

So that's why metacritic gave it an astounding 15/100 he really hit the normal movie goers expectations with that one. Take the Los Angeles Times' review (I mean, obviously hardcore gamers) "Its convictionless competence is merely dull, denying the pleasures of an outright howler without providing much else."

http://www.metacritic.com/film/titles/inthenameoftheking?q=In%20the%20Name%20of%20the%20King:%20A%20Dungeon%20Siege%20Tale#critics

But alas, it really is a shame, beucase Jason Statham is the only man who makes me question my sexuality. And pretty much everything else he's been is has been made of pure awesome and joy.

- Neil

Alachia said...

"Jason Statham is the only man who makes me question my sexuality"

best line ever.

lol.

I was telling Taint not to watch it because it was Blood Rayne quality. And the funny thing was just as I was chatting with him. Another friend of his who isn't a gamer or fantasy nut says

"have you seen In the Name of the King?"

no, was it good?

"yeah, you should watch it, it's just like Lord of the Rings but it doesn't have hobbits"

lmao
.....yeah so this movie was made for people who are down with Lifetime quality movies

NerdNinjaMan said...

I saw "In the Name of the King" when it was in theaters, and almost walked out. The orcs were ridiculous...and what the hell was the wizard guy wearing? That glittery silver scarf was not working for him.

Mads Krüger said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alachia said...

lol. I think he was wearing an armani leather jacket. hahaha.

half way through the movie I started reading magazines. I actually felt embarrassed to be watching the film.

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